Tuesday - Early Summer

This may be an instance where the hoary cliche "preaching to the choir" could rear it's boring head, but well, if you're not familiar with the branches of the Slapstick family tree, you'd be doing yourself a favor by taking a look at this. Personally, I don't hold it in the place of reverence that many people do, but there are certainly some goods to be had here. For instance, while Slapstick, The Broadways, and Alkaline Trio have always kicked my ass, The Lawrence Arms, The Falcon, and The Honor System are thoroughly, thoroughly underwhelming. Emphasis on the former, albeit that statement may come across as heresy; the way I see it, they started off as an inferior version of The Broadways and slowly made their way into a dull-as-shit, glossy alt-punk waste of time.
Less Than Jake and Tuesday fall somewhere between the two. Admittedly, and somewhat embarrassingly, I actually like the pre-'96 material of the former, and regarding the latter, I only have the EP in the top left corner to indulge in.
Tuesday formed in '96, shortly after Slapstick's dissolution, and were able to clamp their collective sphincters for only a year before releasing the godawful Freewheelin' LP in '97. While the Early Summer EP was 4 tracks of catchy, bass-y, hard-hitting pop-punk with the combined vocal front of future Alkaline Trio bassist Dan Andriano and drummer Rob Kellenberger, Freewheelin' sounded like the band spent the intermediate phase smoking weed and listening to stacks of surface-level Midwestern emo albums. And I don't mean that in the American Football way, either; the band essentially took their infectious style of old, sucked all the life out of it, and slathered it in melodramatic cheese. It's a mess measured by the meter stick of those horrible acoustic songs on Goddamnit if you know what I mean.
Giant globs of criticism aside, Early Summer is great as it's followup is disappointing. At the time, the band were a trio, and the songwriting style was decidedly more in the Crimpshrine/Jawbreaker vein than anything approaching 3rd wave emo. Despite that, the 4 songs here sound surprisingly strong and fresh, with solid guitar hooks and as much care put into the verses as the choruses. Dan Andriano's voice has a lot of bite to it here in comparison to all future ventures, and actually sounds like he belongs in a punk band, which plays especially well off of Kellenberger's cleaner harmonies. My favorite song off of here has to be the closer, "So Awake" (which was later re-recorded as the much weaker "Too Much Of Today" on Freewheelin'), but the preceding 3 are just as strong. Also, I'm pretty sure that's the last positive love song Andriano would ever write.

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This EPs out of print as fuck, but I'm pretty sure you can get it cheap on discogs.com and amazon. After all, pretty much no one knows/gives a shit about this band anymore. Oh, and while I can't confirm this, I heard that The Honor System's demo sets everyone up for disappointment just as bad as Early Summer. At least Andriano didn't postulate that more pro-tools vocal effects would be the key to the kingdom. What the fuck, Hanaway.

Alkaline Trio - Maybe I'll Catch Fire

This is probably the least musically relevant thing I've ever utilized as an introduction, but it's something that just now crept out from my periphery: have you noticed that, like, 70% of the female populace between the ages of 16 and 35 are clad in membrane-snug black tights? They're probably the most revealing garment I've ever seen achieve this kind of homogeneity, especially when worn as a pants-substitute. To clarify, I don't intend this as a blue-balled, prudish/misogynist jab at women, as I understand almost everyone, regardless of sex, is caught somewhere in the fashion undertow, but I can't help but raise an eyebrow at how widespread this shit is. It's like a nationwide showcase of ass at the molecular level.

Anyway, to start, the handful of somewhat ambiguous jabs I've penned about Alkaline Trio in the past still stand. They are, and probably always will be, complete cornballs of the "dark" and angst-laden persuasion with lyrics that curdle milk. In fact, I could probably lambaste them in the same light as The Gaslight Anthem, who I dissed several months ago for their similarly laughable (albeit totally different) lyricism. Just like the aforementioned band, though, I've gone through a cycle of acceptance with Alkaline Trio illustrated below:
1.) Infatuation
2.) Light criticism of thematic elements/lyrics
3.) Total disdain and/or embarrassment followed by abandonment
4.) Re-visitation and light criticism
5.) Love of the material with a tongue planted firmly in cheek
And yeah, Maybe I'll Catch Fire is an album I really love, regardless of how fucking silly and un-relateable the lyrics are. Alkaline Trio are one of the most well-known branches of the Slapstick family tree and are a (duh) trio comprised of Dan Adriano of Tuesday, Slapstick, and eventually The Falcon, Matt Skiba (who's also in the unheard-by-me band Heavens), and Derek Grant, previously of The Suicide Machines and a zillion other bands.
This album is their sophomore effort, and the follow-up to 1998's excellent debut (except the two putrid acoustic tracks), Goddamnit. I can't remember exactly, but I'm pretty sure this is the band's most popular album, if not just for the band's staple encore song, "Radio", but it's definitely mine. The songwriting here is really strong, and less raw and bass-y than their first album, with the general pace slowed down to allow the melodies to really develop. I wouldn't call this an indie rock album, exactly, as tracks like "5-3 10-4", "She Took Him To The Lake", and "Madam Me" truck it pretty hard, but there's a distinct adaptation of a more rock-esque format here. Unlike almost every pop-punk band of the past 10 years, the dual vocal approach is considerably reserved, which makes the harmonies stand out a lot, especially in "You Got So Far To Go", which is easily one the album's best tracks next to "5-3 10-4", the dark-warmth of "Sleepyhead", and the refreshingly non-accusatory "She Took Him To The Lake". The latter's got a pretty typical theme of heartbreak, but despite the male described being abandoned, blame never gets heaped on the girl for being a vicious heartstomping witch or whatever bullshit you'd find in virtually every Descendents song.

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In conclusion, I'm tired of sitting at the computer writing this. Also, if you've got a bias against this band due to their cheesy, "gawthic" image or perceived "emo-ness", try to ignore the lyrics. The music itself, vocals included, make for a really great package, and even the imagery's pretty vivid and satisfying once you stop taking it seriously. I guess I should probably mention "Radio", though, since everyone loves that song: it's pretty good. Unfortunately, it also contains the line “shaking like a dog shitting razor blades".
Hm.

Mixtapes - Maps

What sucks is that I actually want to operate this blog again. Also, after about a year's hiatus, I've resumed creating autobiographical comics to publish on a blog or something in hopes of a.) getting my name out there so I may begin freelancing and b.) feeling a semblance of personal fulfillment by putting my artistic leanings to use again. What sucks (while simultaneously "rules") is the fact that these two prospects will fall by the wayside so shortly after reinvigoration, seeing as I'm going vagabonding again for several months and may or may not return in a mindset conducive to writing about this kind of music.

And furthermore, (paragraph of personal bullshit prone to putting off any passerby) HA HA SELF PARODY JDGSJHD

Mixtapes are a Cincinnati, Ohio 4-piece comprised of 3 hairy dudes and a girl with Romulan bangs that play a form of punk music that sidles between the worlds of pop-punk and indie-pop without ever really matching up with the current climate of either genre. Which is to say, there's no intentionally poor production values utilized as a garage band tribute, heavy, springboard basslines, or vocalists that could use a lozenge. Also, as far as I can tell, they came out of fucking nowhere, which is totally confounding if only because of how incredibly good they are. I know "good" is not the most professional or descriptive term, but when so many aspects of a band sound this polished and mature, it's hard not to reach for umbrella terms. I don't like to sink into the eye-rolling depths of hyperbole, but for a debut, this is a pretty much flawless release.
Maps is 10 songs in 18 minutes, and contained within that microscopic running time are enough instantly memorable hooks, melodies, sing-a-long-able vocal harmonies and lyrics than most bands can muster between several LPs. The songs are all super short ditties that alternate between anthems, speedy pop-punk, and pretty acoustic tracks with a crystal clear production that makes the consistent juggling of modes sound perfectly natural and seamless. I wouldn't say there are any tracks here that standout among the rest, but considering the circumstances, I couldn't give a better compliment; in essence, pretty much every track on here is not only cohesive with it's surroundings, but also feels perfectly suited to exist outside of context, say, within a sentimental CD-R or cassette compilation format. Fuck you, I refuse to make a joke about the band's name.
Oh, also, there's a minimalistic yet prevalent use of piano which suits their sound really well.

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The two vocalists' interactions are probably the biggest hook the band employ, though. The earnest, quasi-snotty voice of (male-bodied vocalist) and the smokey, pretty voice of (female-bodied vocalist) intermingle in such a way that the lyrics are constantly comprehensible despite the two's knack for harmonizing. It's kinda like The Anniversary were less putrid and keyboard heavy and more punk rawk. The lyrics might put some people off, as they straddle the line between awkward and self-righteous, but goddamn could I relate to this just a few years back. A running theme here is the comfort in being alone, not partying, and quiet aggrandizement relating to allegiance to the two aforementioned themes. I might be reading too much into the posturing behind their lyrics, but they sound exactly like something I would've written as a painfully self-aware, socially awkward, self-described intellectual who's internal deprecation was only transformed into defensive pride by the upstroke of mood swings.

I dunno.

I want there to be a song called "Watching Porn On A Library Computer". Do you think Dillinger Four would make that song if we got a petition going?